Bullish Thoughts: Of scaffold dancing Zoey, X-rated tapes & Entrepreneurship

Bullish Thoughts is Proudly Zimbabwean despite all the negative stories and sanctions upon him. He loves Zimbabwe’s climate. Right now some are melting in the Kariba, Chiredzi & Victoria Falls heat while others are freezing in Nyanga & Vumba yet others are with moderate temperatures in the mining town of Bindura.

Bullish Thoughts is surely grateful to be a Zimbabwean. He loves the generally peaceful environment and doesn't fear terrorists so long he remains in these borders.

Imagine you are busy drooling at Zoey attempting to scaffold dance (it would have been pole dancing if they did use proper poles) at some supposedly private lounge in a downtown joint and some crazy person just comes in and starts spraying everyone with bullets from machine guns. Just like that!

Or you are busy evaluating if there is a business case and or legal space to establish online business in Zimbabwe hosting lying down tape (some call them sex tapes) from Zim celebrities which are X-rated and someone just drops some nerve gas and kills all of you. Just like that!

Or you are picketing at a mine which you work at because you want the mining house to give you an increment and police which also wants a pay rise spray you with bullets from automatic guns and life goes on.

Or you are in a church on a busy and booming Sunday preaching or 

implementing gospelneurship (or is it gospreneurship) at some start-up spiritual calibration venture and clients…oops…congregants are outside the church buying some $1 bricks each which you bought for 10c each and some disillusioned militant comes and sprays the congregants with bullets. Bad for business and one wishes the pastors could do a "Kinjikitile Ngwale"!

Bullish Thoughts hopes you have now gotten the drift that whilst things are getting tougher by the day (evidenced by the increased shirts & shoes boot sales reminiscent of 2008) there could actually be worse things happening which are not.

Eating at the speed of light…

The weird and ghastly eating habits at dinner have come back for many men and certainly selected women of valour! Many spouses by this week have probably started having the conversation with phrases like “…are you being chased…”, “…why are you eating like a homeless man…”, “…chew your food…”, etc. Well, with the way power has been going lately, a lot have started eating at the speed of light! When a plate or nosh is placed in front of you would you rather risk eating on dark or you would prefer gobbling your food?

LPGeeing your way into entrepreneurship…

Bullish Thoughts is tempted to think somebody recently ventured into the LPG gas business and needs to make a killing before the next Cabinet reshuffle judging by the queue Bullish Thoughts sees everyday at his local LPG retailer (under a tree of course…). Bullish Thoughts thinks there is good money to be made from this LPG gas business and is willing to give it a shot. He will be doing some margins evaluation to see if he can break the 20% net margin barrier especially with way things have been going with some listed corporates earnings and share prices and the ZESA opportunity created by both load shedding & prepaid meters.

He has already set his eyes on a yet unoccupied tree as a target location with a nice catchment area. Yeah, Bullish Thoughts will be number crunching the gas business. He already knows someone with two 50kg tanks that don’t need a pump to use and can just be turned upside down and let gravity do the rest.

Bullish Thoughts is however debating on the name…will it be called Bullish Gas (which has a hazard of not being bought with consumers thinking of biogas, yes that biogas from the primary science project!).

Or he will just paint some metal signpost that reads GAS HERE! Who cares about a brand so long there is no power especially with the rainy season upon us!

Irresponsible accounting & auditing woodwinking investors…

Did you ever think established players like would start booking some weird millions of dollars as profit realised from debt forgiveness through above the line on the Statement of (Un)Comprehensive Income? Seriously, which supplier would forgive the debt of a highly rated borrowers like the tobacco players? And its not only tobacco players doing that. Look at most of the released financial for the reporting period that will end 30 September and you see how many extraordinary items came through above the line and carried the day?

Why don’t company management just own up like the likes of NMB have done that things are not so rosy and earnings are coming off?

Creative accounting is surely here to stay and shareholders be warned. Very soon we definitely will be seeing revaluations (biological assets & properties) coming back.

Cabinet brief: To be or not to be publicly whacked…

There was so much hype and hullabaloo from purported analysts on the local market that there was a gap created by the delay in announcing a Cabinet…something along the lines that there was significant uncertainty hence the market was falling. Bears were in charge!

The Cabinet came and there were no surprises. It was practically the same old fellas and some old new faces! Then the stock market went up some 5% or so and is still on an upward trend albeit amidst thin trades and some analysts are attempting to attribute the thin rally to the presence of a Cabinet!

Bullish Thoughts doesn’t have much to say except to ask what is bullish about saying that we will attempt to mortgage the minerals (again) in a falling market for commodity price?

Maybe it’s the perceived moderation in Indigenisation even though the President did attempt to be hawkish about the policy not the custodian of the ministry.

Well, it’s quite one thing to be smacked in public view and quite another to be whacked quietly! The previous incumbent would smack you in public and make you whimper in full view of everyone denting your confidence whilst the current indigenisation custodian is likely going to whack you in private and still get your investing ego tail between your legs. The only difference is you will have your public ego and confidence and hope for the best. No confidence lost but same end result! This way we could possibly say the Cabinet appointments were somewhat bullish!

Invest Wisely!

Bullish Thoughts
bulls@bulls.co.zw
+263 4 292 7658, +263 77 344 1674

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